In a world that often praises the benefits of minimalism and decluttering, many of us still find ourselves surrounded by items that seem to accumulate endlessly. From stacks of old magazines to sentimental trinkets, our lives can become cluttered with items that serve little purpose other than taking up space. But why do we hold onto these things, even when they contribute to chaos rather than clarity in our lives? Once we’ve figured out what emotional block is preventing us from letting go, we can figure out how to overcome it.
The Comfort of Familiarity
One reason we cling to clutter is the comfort it provides through familiarity. These objects serve as tangible reminders of our past experiences and identities, offering a sense of continuity in an ever-changing world. There is security in stuff. Letting go of things can feel like letting go of a piece of ourselves.
Emotional Attachments
Our possessions can also become filled with emotional significance, making them difficult to part with. Whether it's a gift from a loved one or an item that represents a milestone achievement, the connection to these objects may make them hard to relinquish even if they contribute to the clutter in our lives. Sentimentalists intertwine objects and emotions, and they believe that getting rid of the object is “throwing away” the person who gave it to them or the memory attached to an item.
Fear of Loss and Regret
Another factor that keeps us tethered to clutter is the fear of loss and regret. We worry that if we discard something we may later feel regret about losing it, either because we think we might need it in the future or because of the sentimental value attached to it. This fear can lead us to hold onto items out of an abundance of caution, even if they no longer serve any practical purpose in our lives.
Misplaced Emotions
Retail therapy is shopping for items that we don’t need, or might not even want, because we are trying to avoid dealing with negative emotions. Shopping attempts to fill a void that might be from the loss of a loved one, feelings of low self-worth, or simply to lift our spirits. When we shop our brain’s dopamine levels increase resulting in a temporary feeling of elation or satisfaction from the purchase. But later, when dopamine levels return to normal, all that remains is the clutter. The ease of online shopping means we can shop any time, day or night. We tell ourselves we’ll return it if we don’t want it, but that rarely happens.
Fear of Success or Failure
We might acquire items for the “someday” project we plan on doing. The book we will write, the craft project we will do, the DIY home improvement project. So we buy the items and start the project but don’t finish it or we never even start. Our initial thought process of “I can do this” can, subconsciously, turn into “what if I can’t”. Take the book example. Our brains might say what if I write the book but no one publishes it, I will feel like a failure so why even start. Or the opposite happens, we think what if the book gets published, then what? Will I have to write another? What if it isn’t as good as the first? So fear ends up paralyzing us and all we are left with is the clutter and seeing the project through to completion.
Aspirational Clutter
Sometimes, clutter accumulates not out of attachment to the past, but out of hope for the future. We hold onto items that we believe we will use or need someday, whether it's that exercise equipment gathering dust in the corner or the stack of books we've been meaning to read. These possessions represent our aspirations and intentions, but they can also become burdensome reminders of unfulfilled goals if left unaddressed.
Overcoming the Clutter
Once we understand the reason behind why we hold onto clutter we can learn the best way to let it go. For clutter stemming from emotions, learning to separate the memory from the item is a starting place. Take a photo of the item and then discard the item itself. Create a single memory box which limits how many items can be saved. Enlisting the help of a friend or objective third party can help make the process easier. Find healthier outlets to deal with negative emotions instead of shopping such as meeting a friend for coffee or taking an exercise class. If there is a DIY project that has been sitting undone, first assess if you still really want to do it. If the answer is no, get rid of the items and move on. If the answer is yes, create a deadline and break the project down into smaller pieces.
In the end, letting go of clutter is a deeply personal journey that requires patience, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace change. By understanding the reasons behind our attachment to possessions and taking proactive steps to declutter, we can create a home and a life that are filled with clarity, purpose, and room to grow.
Comments